Superman, Annie, Moses, Blondie & Benjamin

At night I wonder if we did the right thing by taking Benjamin from his home country to live with us (I know the answer but I still think about it).  But then I think of all the other people, real and fictional, who've been adopted and they've altered the course of the world we know, so how bad could it be?  Superman, Annie, Moses, Blondie, Steve Jobs, Steve Inskeep, Babe Ruth...the list is actually surprising.  Out of curiosity, I Googled Charles Whitman.  Not adopted! 

We are home now with 8 days of parenthood behind us - safe and sound and life could not be better.  We giggle, play, eat, go for walks and generally laze around with goofy smiles on our faces most of the time.  If we're not smiling it's because we've face planted onto our beds, hoping to catch the odd nap or 4 hour stretch of sleep when we can get it.  Benjamin's a good baby and is learning to get on a schedule, but we're not quite there yet.  Paul is a gracious Daddy, eager to share all the responsibilities evenly, although I think he leapt ahead of me in karma points by volunteering to collect the 3 days of stool samples from Ben that the International Adoption Clinic wants us to return by Friday.  Sorry for the poopy talk.  It just happens.

I wanted to provide an account of our last few days in Ethiopia since we did not have Internet access and have gotten lots of questions.   We took custody of our son on Monday, October 18th.  It was the exact opposite of our first visit to Ethiopia ("not a Hallmark Moment" as Scott Simon says in interviews about adopting his 2 little girls from China).  Benjamin was inquisitive and almost immediately responsive to us.  Paul kept saying "I think he gets it" and I think he was right.  The whole experience felt right. 

To describe the scene when they handed him over to us, we were in this very large play room (also a cafeteria) which is in the new school/home that's been built by our adoption agency.  It is located at the foothills of some mountains just outside Addis Ababa.  There are 5 or 6 other couples from our adoption agency waiting with us and then the nannies start walking our children in to us.  There are screams from some of the babies, tears of joy, looks of hope and apprehension and above all, rapidly beating hearts.  It was the begining of the rest of our lives.  Like a biological birthing room at a hospital, the emotions were palpable and hugs are plenty.   Here's a little video, in case you're interested.  Note some of our new found friends receiving their children in the background.   

The rest of our week was spent doing paperwork for our Embassy appointment and getting to know our son.  We spent long days (and nights!) trying to figure each other out.   Thankfully, we had other friends at the guest house to rely on and bounce questions off of.  We ate all of our meals together at a communal table with 3 other families (one from our agency, one from Children's Hope International and one from Gladney) and their children.  It was a wonderful experience and we think we've made some life long friends.   Here are some pictures: 

L-R:  Jessica (Hermala's mommy), McKenna (aka Kenna, daughter of Stacey), Stacey, Jada & Todd

Ethiopian babies also enjoy being thrown into the air.  Yipee! 



Figuring it all out.  Note Kenna, who came along to meet her new baby sister, taking a picture of Hermala. 



Hermala discovers the joy of blueberry suckers.

This last one is of a darling couple from Tennessee who are adopting two older siblings.  Their son (far right) is a real charmer and his social worker said of him (to his parents) during the exit interview, "He is a handsome boy.  And he thinks he is more handsome than all the other boys".  How soon their personalities come out! 

I'll probably post a few more times with other pictures from home, including the most heart warming "Welcome Home" greeting at the airport after our grueling 27 hours of travel.  We've never felt so loved, nor imagined how quickly we'd be marginalized to "the holders of the baby".   :)  He was a star.   

For now, here's a picture of Benjamin on our last night in his beautiful, mountainous, loving, warm, broken, generous and ancient country.  We'll always go back to Ethiopia (spiritually and we hope physically) with thanksgiving and grateful hearts for the greatest gift we've ever received. 

 


Peace,
Mandy, Paul & Benjamin Barata Dorsey

Ethiopia, Day 1

We arrived into Addis Ababa last night with an uneventful flight and taxi ride to our guest home.   PTL.   Safe and sound in our guest house, we were awakened at  2:30 a.m. to Orthodox prayers from about 3 or 4 churches across the valley (we sit slightly up on the hill).   While Ethiopia is an impoverished country by many standards, they do not spare any expense on their PA systems.  Honestly, it sounded like we were a block away from Bryant Denny Stadium in a close game.   On and on the prayers went on into the evening and then at 4:00 a.m., there was a most blessed, blessed silence.  Cue the rooster.  Then more prayers.  Finally, all the neighborhood dogs started to match the pitch of the prayer caller and all we could do was laugh and cry at the same time.   Somehow with the help of ear plugs and utter depletion, we fell asleep.  

We went downstairs and met the other families who are staying at the same guest house.  What a difference daylight makes.  I cannot tell you how absolutely delightful they all are.   We all joked about the prayers and introduced ourselves over french toast, scrambled eggs and Ethiopian coffee.  We compared stories (how many kids at home, are you here for Embassy or Court appointment, where are you from, what kind of formula did you bring, etc.).  It was nice to be among other families who have all experienced international adoption and all its blessings and....non-blessings.  

After lunch, Paul fell in to a coma and I went with Jada and Todd, a fun couple our age also adopting their first child, to a market for some souvenirs and then to a coffee shop.  We bought a ball for some of the neighborhood kids who play in the alley behind our guest home.  These children are perfectly happy to play with a sock full of pebbles and a tree branch, so the ball was a huge score for them.  They are so warm and loving to us.  I hope Benjamin has inherited their sweet Ethiopian dispositions and that he will have enough imagination to find adventure and possibility in found or common objects. 

Tomorrow around 9am, our lives change as they hand over Benjamin to us, his forever parents.  PARENTS!   I am reminded of the words of Khalil Gibran, "Your children are not your children, they are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself".   However you come into that wonderful, mystical force of parenthood (biological or adopted children), you are changed forever.  I imagine your DNA is altered and your heart grows a fifth chamber that your children occupy for the rest of your lives.  Through God's grace, we're being given the opporunity to continue the life of one child on this earth.  Even if you joke and tell us “wait till he’s thirteen”, we are looking forward to it all.  Let the adventure begin.    

With love,

Mandy & Paul

At Last

Hello dear friends and family!   It is now the 15th of October, the day we officially travel to pick up our adopted son, Benjamin Barata, from Ethiopia and bring him back to his "forever home" with us here in Birmingham.   It is also our 16th wedding anniversary.   What a happy day! 

Here's a run down of the next 7 days for us: 

Friday, 2pm, depart The Heart of Dixie and travel 37 hours half way around the globe to Addis Ababa, capital of Ethiopia.  God willing, we arrive late Saturday evening.  We'll be staying at the Ethiopia Guest Home.  Yes, you saw that right - each adoptive parent gets a massage during their stay. 

Sunday we lounge around and otherwise enjoy our last day of solitude as a couple till Benjamin is 18. 

Monday we travel to Acacia Village, the orphan care center our adoption agency is building just outside Addis Ababa.  There we'll meet with Benjamin's nurses, caregivers and others who know his schedule, temperament, likes/dislikes, etc.  And then, they hand him over to us and we take him back to the guest home.  We're not entirely sure what happens next, but everyone keeps saying we'll figure it out.

Tuesday afternoon at 3pm (~5am CDT), we go to the US Embassy in Addis Ababa and get Benjamin's Ethiopian passport (we get to be in his picture with him!), get his US Visa and fill out a mountain of paperwork with the other families from our agency, Christian World Adoption. 

Wednesday - more lounging on the grounds of the guest home and bonding while the embassy completes his paperwork.  Blanket on the lawn (check out the weather here), blocks, Goodnight Moon, Runaway Bunny, peek-a-boo, nap time.  Ahhh....

Thursday we wait for the paperwork to be completed and delivered to us.  Our flight leaves at 10:50 p.m. with a quick touch down in Amsterdam at 5am.  We have extra earplugs and cash on hand to buy our fellow passengers drinks if he cries the whole time.  With luck, prayer and Benadryl (pediatrician approved!) , we should arrive back in good ol' Birmingham at 4:30 p.m. on Friday, October 22nd.  We'll be the ones with bags under our eyes and smiles from ear to ear carrying the cutest little boy ever. 

The days following our journey home, we're advised to seclude ourselves in our house somewhat and to hold Benjamin as much as we can.  He needs to understand we're his parents and that he lives in a house with us, two cats and two tiny dogs.  Yes, we've tried to prepare the dogs for the new change, but I'm not sure it's sunk in yet.  We'll start making public appearances around Halloween weekend.  Alabama gets to rest its pluck and grit that weekend with a much needed bye so we might actually get to have a conversation with friends that doesn't center around the warm glow of the TV screen.

So that's the life-changing seven days we face when we get up in the morning.  Stay tuned for more but in the mean time, enjoy some pictures.   

Peace,
Mandy & Paul